A new you in 40 fast days

I am giving up chocolate for lent. It is a huge sacrifice as I live on a slab a day. I was asked why I would give up anything for lent, a religious fast, as it is no secret that I am not religious, and penitence is not part of my vocabulary (even though I just said it). I do, however, love tradition, and believe that any excuse to celebrate is a good excuse. The fact that lent starts with Ash Wednesday and ends with Easter means that I get to eat pancakes and then a truckload of chocolate (that load was originally a word that rhymes with truck). I too then get to try change my life by what I give up in between.

I do not know why lent starts with pancakes, and who cares I love pancakes. I also love chocolate, and chocolate dominates every single holiday (it’s almost patronizing), which makes me love chocolate even more.

Back to lent. They say (those infamous scientists that suffuse facts) that it takes 21 days to make or break a habit. So the length of lent, 40 (odd) days, is more than enough time to make or break a habit. My slab a day diet of Cadbury chocolate is not a habit I want to break, and I would never ever give up chocolate for life, but giving it up for the time that Jesus apparently wandered the desert, is long enough to make a real difference.

I was originally going to give up sugar, but I barely use the stuff and I love to exert my will power, so chocolate was just the right challenge. Especially while temptation is proliferate as those chocolate manufacturers have ditched the break in between holidays and as soon as one ends the next festive choc floods shelves. I think you can still find Santa and Valentine chocolates while Easter bunnies dominate, bless them! Maybe they could cut to the chase and just make a holiday dedicated to chocolate.

To save a buck, would you kill a dog?

dogs

I mean a dollar, not the animal buck or vaulting horse or shifting of responsibility to something else. Or is the latter exactly what I mean, when someone chooses to spare an expense for an animal’s life: is that not passing the buck, onto the buck? (Bon mot).

I have been in and out of the vet a lot lately; both my miniature dachshunds have needed spinal surgery. The cost has now amounted to 45 thousand, big bucks for two little dogs that we bought for 1500. As prices for procedures escalated people repeatedly said that the amount of money was ridiculously high and recommended that I put them down. Now this is reasoning I fully support if you are putting an animal out of its misery because recovery is unattainable or quality of life is depleted (unlike people animals have this luxury), but I cannot condone nor comprehend when the reasoning is fiscal.

I asked the vet what it would cost to euthanize a pet and it is around 400 including cremation. Is it any wonder people will kill their pet rather than pay for its welfare? Is it any wonder people could value money over a life? Even though you make money. I reiterate since this is often lost on us: money is made. Money is man made. We make money.

We also lose money every day. We gamble, we get scammed, robbed, we lose money. We spend thousands on products we don’t need, food and drink we shouldn’t ingest, things that do not work, levies, rates, taxes, our money is taken from us all the time. At the same time thousands today could be made into millions in minutes or lost entirely over night. So why would I choose to abandon a family member I chose to adopt for cash that is man made?

I could not afford the costs of the operations, and I continue to pay for physiotherapy, but come hell or high water, the money was down before I spared their lives to save it. If it’s to save a buck, I pick life every time.

Intrigued to see what others have spent, I looked into what is the most expensive dog and it turns out a Chinese millionaire bought a Red Tibetan Mastiff for $1.5 million. Funny that a Chinaman owns the most expensive dog on record, a Chinaman, need I elaborate?

How to not die

There seems to be a consensus that human life is the most valuable form of life on earth. Of course, mine is the most valuable life to me, and my families and so on and so forth. Too often though there is a lot of uproar when a human life is harmed, threatened, or heaven forbid, ended, especially by something natural. Any and every measure is intolerably taken to redeem that unbelievable fate, because death is by all means the absolute worst thing that could happen and must be avoided and prevented at all costs.

If you want to not die, then do not be born.

If, however, you only knew that you wanted to not die after you had already been born, then you must at all costs avoid everything and everyone, because everything and everyone is potentially lethal. Despite the fact that people kill more people than any animal or thing has ever killed people, mosquitoes are THE most harmful and THE most annoying of ALL. I do not condone killing ANYTHING, except mosquitoes. Myriad mosquitoes could (and should) die and I do not think there would be any uproar. Before I deviate from the point (I think I might make one) let me go back to those noxious death traps that are everywhere, and often disguised, which you must avoid at all costs to not die.

Sharks, Satan, serpents (or even little snakes), spiders… I see a pattern here with ‘S’ and I deduce from this pattern that the letter ‘S’ is the deadliest of ALL. To not die, avoid the letter S. I digress, the disguise of things that will kill you, is often not what you would expect, like the letter S or sharks, or snakes, or Satan. The thing that you should avoid at ALL costs to not die, are people (or did I say that already). All things that people make are also the deadliest of all.

These death traps are also disguised by people (more evidence of why you should avoid people and what people say and write and make). For instance, if a shark takes a bite out of a flailing fare from it’s only feeding ground, people will kill thousands of sharks. That shark saw a clearly injured piece of food floating where he looks for food, took a bite, realized people are gross and moved on. That person was probably injured (not just flailing like us bathers do) and possibly fatally, and every single person in the whole world heard about it. The fact that the very waters this incident occurred in are more dangerous (more people drown, drown in rip currents, drown in puddles or from jellyfish) is inconsequential. You never hear about people culling jellyfish, or mosquitoes, oh wait they did try to cull mosquitoes (no comment).

I love all life but it is an inevitability that death will occur. It is also an inevitability that can only happen in so many ways, and with seven billion and counting people there are not enough ways left, of which people are trying desperately to prevent most of those ways. This however will only lead to other ways, we cannot all live forever, and would we want to, don’t most of you have heaven to get to?

My point, as much as we blame the letter ‘S’, there will come a time when you will die. It is not something you can prevent, we can cure all the diseases, predict all the storms, kill all animals that threaten our life, and make a million laws stopping us from doing anything that could kill us, and then, we will still die.

There will hopefully come a time when people will realize this. Then they will respect all the other life forms that exist. So that when someone dies, there will be no misguided culls (unless it is of those people who do those things), there will be no uproar (unless it is again those people), and we accept that we are all going to die, somehow, somewhere, some day.

{[(This is not just a response to Australia’s shark cull or South Africa’s culling through the shark nets that has run for decades, or any of the zoo / game reserve / park / sanctuary creatures that have been killed, it is a response to death. Dreadful insufferable death that makes life… life)]}

 

Gathering flotsam and jetsam

I just told a teller I didn’t want a plastic packet and he told me it’s free (oh well in that case). My riposte for that is “I’m saving the planet one packet at a time” but the customary praise of approval was this time met with a look of disgust, like I was a moron he said, “You could just recycle.”

This accentuates my point of whom the onus is on.

I gave my sister a skew look when she sought out a straw for her son. My look did nothing except make me feel inept when she remarked, “Bigger picture Cera.”

She is right, and while I am trying my best to focus on the little that I can do, I am becoming decidedly annoying, even to me.

I blame this blog, which started with a teller throwing the packet I didn’t take in the trash. I do think bigger picture, consistently, but I can’t make a difference there yet. All I can take are teeny tiny steps by removing the plastics and eliminating the waste from my life right now. All I can do is hope that these small steps add up to the bigger-picture steps. Then (naturally) I can squib and whine and criticize all the people that are not taking those little steps.

Global conspiracy

In my humble opinion, I think, the number one reason people don’t really care about global warming is because they believe it is just the planets problem, and they’re banking on a big imaginary father figure to keep a spot for them elsewhere (or is it everywhere)(oh right I think some call it heaven). The reality is that the planet will be fine, our species will be destroyed and the planet will recover and a new smarter species will take our place. The cockroaches’ turn is coming. (Let’s hope they don’t find a copy of the most likely book to survive our demise, Harry Potter, can you imagine?)

The term “global warming” is possibly what lessens peoples concern, especially for those in cooler climates, like Alaska. For people in Australia and the Middle East the threat of a fractional overall temperature increase is frightening. Besides the planet gets hot again and then cold again all the time, people don’t think this increase could be that serious. Mostly though people think it isn’t their wrongdoing and they can’t possibly make it right.

Global whatever you call it, there is a problem. Imagine if things continue as they are, because the choices you made today, the products and purchases you funded, directly changed your future. Imagine the next 40 years of your life being laboriously painful with weather patterns destroying your home, your roads, your malls, and you spend decades merely living off the very sparse wildlife you let survive. You survive, but barely, and you have to watch as the cockroaches’ takeover. OR plant a fucking tree, stop taking plastics, recycle, and enjoy the most beautiful place on earth, earth!

THE REHYDRATION PILL, hangover cures and what happens in Vegas…

“Are you ready for Vegas?” He kept asking in a tone that kept me thinking ‘what does that mean?’ What could Las Vegas present that I was not ready for?

The first challenge I faced was trying to get a group of hangover enthusiasts out of bed in daylight hours after a night of drinking, clubbing, gambling, limos, and little sleep. My sprightliness conflicted with everyone else’s doddering and because of it the question came, over and over again I was asked: “do you have a rehydration pill?”

I honestly considered that maybe this was not such a stupid question. For less than a second I thought perhaps being in the Mojave Desert that receives less than 330mm of rain a year that they could have such a pill available. In the 350 distinct places to stay where air-conditioning vents supply something quite similar to air and in the dry streets you can find a variation of the oxygenated ether, your body does crave some moisture, and your eyes can’t blink fast enough as everything shrivels. Possibly here in this hub in the nation of the chronically dehydrated they do in fact have a rehydration pill. Of course they do not.

“Yes,” I answered, “It’s called water.”

Here the drinking water comes mostly from the Colorado River via Lake Mead or from a deep groundwater aquifer beneath the Las Vegas Valley, and is perfectly fine to drink. Yes thousands of rooms in a desert come with on tap liquid rehydration pills.

This answer was met with disgust and disdain and the search for a CVS ensued.

vegas st

Just drink water, aren’t you thirsty?

Seriously anyone who argues with me is trying to sell you something.

Here are my spell-it-out hangover avoidance and hydration techniques.

Firstly dehydration is caused by not drinking enough fluid or by losing more fluid than you take in (dah). Fluid is lost through sweat, tears, vomiting, urine and diarrhoea.

My advice, drink water.

Secondly alcohol is a diuretic. It causes dehydration because it inhibits your anti-diuretic hormone (ADH). This hormone has a constant level and keeps you from peeing out all of the water in your body.  Drinking alcohol lowers the level of ADH making you pee more.

My advice, drink water.

When choosing your personality enhancer drink superior, clear alcohol. High quality vodka, gin and clear tequila have lower levels of impurities. For those who need to snort their personality I can confidently say…

My advice, drink water.

Food also delays the absorption of alcohol.

My advice, drink water.

On a big night out eat first, then drink wisely by sticking to one alcoholic drink and drink water.

However when the case arises that you drank everything you could get your hands on and are left severely dehydrated and you need to replenish your electrolytes remember a sweet drink can help replace lost sugar and a salty snack can help replace lost salt. Most bar food is salty.

If so severe that you spent hours hugging the toilet the solution should contain a mixture of potassium and sodium salts, as well as glucose or starch. In Vegas Gatorade will be recommended. However this is simple and you can make up your own solution by adding 6 level teaspoons of sugar and 1/2 level teaspoon of salt dissolved in 1 litre of water. If you are ordering from the diner, ask for a glass of water; add a packet of sugar and a pinch of salt.

If you didn’t just stick to a healthy glass of red remember too much drink will leave your body very acidic so add a shot of apple cider vinegar and a spoon of honey into some water and it will get your body alkaline and possibly taste like something you drank the night before.

Are you ready for Vegas? Eat, drink water and don’t be stupid… now you are!

As for the second challenge I faced, it was getting to the Grand Canyon. It rained; those few hundred mills denied me the chance to fly to one of the seven wonders of the world. The rehydration pill requesters said the canyon is just a hole and told me not to waste my time. I will be back to waste my time, and as for Vegas… Vegas is Vegas, it is exactly what you expect, nothing more, nothing less.

Shower reflections

Outside it is pouring and I considered showering in the rain. I did this while I was in the shower drowning out one of my favourite sounds. Could a heavy rain be a good shower if it was long enough? Although I have never timed how long it takes me to shower I think I am generally swift, longer only when I wash my hair of course (I don’t do that every day, I try to keep that to twice a week). Jennifer Aniston once said that she showers for 3 minutes, and if that was the case I could certainly shower in the rain.

I heard a discussion on the radio recently where they were talking about relationship blunders. A girl commented that a guy she was dating brushed his teeth in the shower and that was the deal breaker. I brush my teeth in the shower so was quite surprised by this being a deal breaker. I could think of a few deal breakers in the shower but none involve cleaning ones teeth. What I found more surprising was the sizable response from women who agreed with her. In fact one of the presenters on the show insisted that she would never brush her teeth in the shower, because how else would you sing. I can brush my teeth in the shower and sing (yes I am that good). Apparently most women agree on this teeth brushing ‘blunder’ and do not do it. I have always done it, it is a great time saver, and most importantly, water saver!

Speaking of, a friend of mine collects the water from her shower with a bucket and then waters her garden with it. Excessive, yes, but practical and creative. My mother has cold showers (nothing practical there). Although I actually think more water is wasted from feeling-for-the-right-temperature than anything else (unless you are one of those dimwits who runs the tap while you brush your teeth). I wonder how much is wasted doing that comparatively to how much water is needed around the world. Then of course there is flushing the toilet, do we really need to waste 13 litres of water with every flush? I will look into all of this.

Buy cheap. Spend more.

This is true not only for your pocket but for the planet. As Walmart filters into South Africa, and mass super markets destroy local ones like a weed, it is interesting to see just how detrimental that shopping mentality really is.

In SA we grew up with the philosophy ‘waste not want not’ but in the USA it seems that idiom is ignored. My grandmother lived through world war so it makes sense that she does not waste, but she will also never buy cheaper, she says that it will mean buying twice. She is right.

In Connecticut I see wealthy housewives who only buy cheap, and while they are penny misers they waste an alarming amount. For example if something is about to reach its sell-by date (not use by and not reached) they toss it. Dozens of eggs get binned because they buy any that are on sale, and then throw them out. More food is binned than eaten. So why do they buy so much, because its cheap. They go to the cheap stores and buy as much as they can for as little as possible, and then bin most of what they bought. None of the binned foods go into the garden to feed the birds, or worms, nope they get trashed to decorate another overflowing landfill.

I saw someone throw out two pot plants (yes actual living plants), because the leaves were browning. I’ve tried every trick I know (verbally) to stop this profligacy, but too many are stuck in these reckless ways. Buying $4 pot plants after tossing the first two because their leaves started to fade.

This is one of the fundamental problems in the US and the world. There is nothing to value. If the price of those plants were their true worth, you would not be trashing them but watering them. If you buy something of value, you value it!

When it’s cheap, you do buy double, you buy more than you need, and you waste. When it’s cheap, it doesn’t last as long, so you end up buying cheap over and over again (double). When it’s cheap, it usually comes from a long line of destruction, putting locals out of work, damaging the environment, and will last a whole lot longer once you’ve discarded it for something cheaper.

Don’t let the low number on the price tag fool you into thinking you are getting a good deal. Too often the lower the price, the larger the impact usually is. When you value everything you have, you will see how far it will go and how long it will last!

(Granted there are many things that are expensive but have no value, and vice versa).

Looking for the culprits

When we look at the state of the planet who is to blame? Is the onus on those who create the demand, supply the demand, or maintain the demand, and at this point who do you tackle to solve the problem?

I just met the wife of a man who produces plastic for a living. He is the guy that makes the plastic bottles that I am trying to convince everyone to stop using/buying/taking. She is fully aware of the plastic continents in the oceans, the alarming rate at which sea life is drowning from unavoidable plastic consumption, and the dire state plastic is forcing our planet into. She also thinks the only reason plastic is on the beaches is because of a lack of education leading to people not recycling.

That is to say not recycling is the problem and recycling is the solution, but is recycling enough? I asked if her husbands company recycles and what initiatives they had in place and she said no and none. She said they do charity by giving people with AID’s money and support. Of course that’s a much higher priority than not polluting and damaging this earth. Let’s keep those uneducated-unemployed-and-spreading-AID’s earning an income.

Her argument and lack of concern for her husbands contribution was concerning, especially as she appeared to take full responsibility for her own contribution. She personally recycles but her husband does not. This thinking that the blame falls entirely on the consumer is faulty. The consumer can only do so much, and most of the time plastics are forced upon you. We need to tackle the source, those who produce the plastics, and those buy them to force on us. Ultimately implying that the onus IS on us. So where do we begin?